I woke up yesterday thinking about Brandon. My firstborn child will graduate in a few months. Why does it seem like only a short time ago that I was 16 years old and getting ready to give birth to him? Wasn't it just last week that he was toddling around, shaking his booty to "achy breaky heart"? I can't believe how fast life has moved since then. Where has the time gone? I felt sad yesterday morning, thinking about my boy growing up and leaving and not needing me anymore.
I laid in bed thinking about what I would plan for his graduation party, then I got up, got dressed and dragged my sulking self to church. Here is the start of my Pastor's message from yesterday:
"I was in Florida this week with my Grandchildren and as I watched them playing together on the couch, it felt as if I was watching my own children at that age - and I thought to myself, where has the time gone?"
Alrighty then, I realized very quickly that God had a message for me :o)
Pastor Loomis preached a great sermon and what I got out of it is this: God has done great things for us in the past, but we can look forward to even greater things in our future. Don't get older and dwell on what USED to be. God has so much more in store for us - more than we can even imagine right now! Maybe it's time to stop asking "Where did the time go?" and instead say "Look how far I've come....and look where I'm going!!".
So, instead of looking back and wishing my boy was small again, I will look forward to seeing what he becomes. He might be out of my hands, but I am putting him into God's....and really, thats where he has been all along :o)
9/22/2008
9/10/2008
One month already??
Elyssa will be be one month old tomorrow. She has been such a good baby so far and has smiled at me a few times this week. I haven't caught it on camera yet but believe me, it seriously melts the heart :o) They are those huge toothless smiles with the "smiling eyes" to match.
I am so in love with her, I can't even describe it. If I didn't have other things to do, I think I could literally sit and hold her...rock her...stare at her...ALL DAY!! I love all of my children equally of course, and that will never change, but I've been different with Elyssa. Maybe it's the fact that I'm older and calmer, or the fact that I've had 4 babies before her so I knew what to expect this time - But I am alot more relaxed and peaceful this time. I'm sure alot of it also has to do with knowing that she our last baby. I want to enjoy every minute and hold her as much as possible while she's still in the snuggly newborn stage. I know that I will never have this again so it makes every tiny new milestone seem bittersweet.
She saw the pediatrician last week, at 3 weeks old. She was 9lbs 9oz and 21 1/4 inches and everything checked out perfectly. I didn't need a doctor to tell me that - I already know she is perfect :o)
As for me, I don't think my body is "bouncing back" like it has before. I mean, I've lost almost all of the 23 lbs I had gained during pregnancy so that's not a problem. But my lower stomach muscles and pelvic bones always hurt terribly. Some days are better than others....today is not one of the better days :o( If I sneeze or cough I get a horrible pulling/burning sensation down there, like maybe I have some pulled muscles or something..? Uggh!! I had the same feelings during pregnancy but I just assumed it would be gone by now. I'm almost due for my 6 week postpartum checkup so I'm trying to hold out until then to ask the doctor.
I am so in love with her, I can't even describe it. If I didn't have other things to do, I think I could literally sit and hold her...rock her...stare at her...ALL DAY!! I love all of my children equally of course, and that will never change, but I've been different with Elyssa. Maybe it's the fact that I'm older and calmer, or the fact that I've had 4 babies before her so I knew what to expect this time - But I am alot more relaxed and peaceful this time. I'm sure alot of it also has to do with knowing that she our last baby. I want to enjoy every minute and hold her as much as possible while she's still in the snuggly newborn stage. I know that I will never have this again so it makes every tiny new milestone seem bittersweet.
She saw the pediatrician last week, at 3 weeks old. She was 9lbs 9oz and 21 1/4 inches and everything checked out perfectly. I didn't need a doctor to tell me that - I already know she is perfect :o)
As for me, I don't think my body is "bouncing back" like it has before. I mean, I've lost almost all of the 23 lbs I had gained during pregnancy so that's not a problem. But my lower stomach muscles and pelvic bones always hurt terribly. Some days are better than others....today is not one of the better days :o( If I sneeze or cough I get a horrible pulling/burning sensation down there, like maybe I have some pulled muscles or something..? Uggh!! I had the same feelings during pregnancy but I just assumed it would be gone by now. I'm almost due for my 6 week postpartum checkup so I'm trying to hold out until then to ask the doctor.
9/02/2008
School is Good!!
I always hate to send my kids back to school. Partly because it means that the lazy summer days are over. No more lazing in the pool, no sleeping late, no sleepovers, etc...
On the other hand, I am totally enjoying my peaceful house for 8 hours a day! Elyssa isn't much trouble (yet) and Isaac is alot calmer without Ethan and Haylee around. I clean the house and it STAYS that way. Amazing but true! I can also watch "big people TV" again and actually HEAR it!
Of course, when the other kids walk thru the door, it's complete and utter chaos again. I love and miss them but I do like getting a few hours of sanity every day :o)
Brandon is a senior this year. Hard to believe....At this point he really has no plans for after he graduates. We've basically pushed him through high school. He's a smart kid but he does NOT give 100%. He only does what he HAS to do to get by. It's been a struggle for sure. All of his teachers agree that he is much smarter than average, but is very "lazy" with his work. Laziness has always been an issue at home too. I hope and pray that he finds some ambition this year.
Haylee is in 3rd grade. She's the social butterfly. I don't worry too much about her because she always seems to find a friend, no matter where she goes. She is outgoing and I'm sure she'll do well this year. Her teacher was a good friend of mine in elementary school. Small world!!
Ethan is in 1st grade. He went to school last week without any fears, but this week he was more hesitant. He worries alot about little things and he's really shy so I hope he finds some good friends this year and enjoys himself more. He seems to play with little girls more than boys. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I would like to see him find a few good boy pals too. I think boys are generally louder and more rambunctious and it intimidates him.
Hoping they all have a great year and do their best!!
On the other hand, I am totally enjoying my peaceful house for 8 hours a day! Elyssa isn't much trouble (yet) and Isaac is alot calmer without Ethan and Haylee around. I clean the house and it STAYS that way. Amazing but true! I can also watch "big people TV" again and actually HEAR it!
Of course, when the other kids walk thru the door, it's complete and utter chaos again. I love and miss them but I do like getting a few hours of sanity every day :o)
Brandon is a senior this year. Hard to believe....At this point he really has no plans for after he graduates. We've basically pushed him through high school. He's a smart kid but he does NOT give 100%. He only does what he HAS to do to get by. It's been a struggle for sure. All of his teachers agree that he is much smarter than average, but is very "lazy" with his work. Laziness has always been an issue at home too. I hope and pray that he finds some ambition this year.
Haylee is in 3rd grade. She's the social butterfly. I don't worry too much about her because she always seems to find a friend, no matter where she goes. She is outgoing and I'm sure she'll do well this year. Her teacher was a good friend of mine in elementary school. Small world!!
Ethan is in 1st grade. He went to school last week without any fears, but this week he was more hesitant. He worries alot about little things and he's really shy so I hope he finds some good friends this year and enjoys himself more. He seems to play with little girls more than boys. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I would like to see him find a few good boy pals too. I think boys are generally louder and more rambunctious and it intimidates him.
Hoping they all have a great year and do their best!!
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